On Chasing Wellness + Why I Write

Being a mom is without a shadow of a doubt the greatest gift I’ve ever been given. I love my kids from the depths of my heart, and I wouldn’t trade being their mom for anything. 

I love the way they laugh, the way their eyes light up when they’re telling me a story, the way they run to me when they fall. I love the way they look at the world, and the way they were born with kind hearts, and the way they wake up and climb straight into bed with us. I love them, and that will never change. Period.

That being said, it’s not always rainbows and sunshine, and being a mom can also have its challenges .

Some of you know by now that I’ve been on a road to wellness, initiated by a bumpy road with my health (physical and mental) since having my sweet little twinlettes two years ago. If not- surprise, you do now ;).

Between swapping out products for clean alternatives ( going to share a post on some of my favs soon!), taking time to rest, focusing on eating real foods & supplements , visiting my doctors regularly for blood tests, exams, (and an upcoming surgery…more on that some other time), I’ve been feeling mostly better; but I’m not 100% yet, and every day comes with new struggles, but I’m always chasing after wellness.

I talk about it more in depth on my secondary Instagram account @fitishkimi (which I am considering just merging into my main account for the sake of “one-less-thing”…thoughts?)if you want to know more specifics, but for a brief run down so you know WHY I am on this quest to a healthier me: I have always struggled with anxiety and it hit a pretty scary (for me) tipping point coupled with depression last year. It snowballed into 4 rounds of bronchitis within a few months, adrenal fatigue, and hormone imbalances among other things, and I got sick and tired of always being sick and  tired.

I’m still working towards finding balance and breaking bad habbits, working towards making time for self care, clearing out mental clutter & negative self talk that I’ve held onto for way too long…towards finding energy and motivation to get moving more with my always aching body, and to also sometimes being okay resting in the stillness that often comes instead.

It’s an uphill battle, and one that I know could always be worse and for that I am thankful. But it’s one I’ve committed the past two years of my life to, and don’t intend to ever give up fighting for myself.

Now, I want to also address the fact that I’m a sharer and I need you to know that it is not just for me. Yes, I do love to write because it helps to calm the constant racing thoughts/ anxiety…it’s therapeutic, and also I like to look back and read years later, because my memory is complete shit and there are things I don’t want to forget (pretty much 90% of why I love Instagram so much; it’s my photo diary).

Honestly though, at times I am extremely self conscious about sharing personal experiences & thoughts (and what I do share is usually just the tip of the iceberg and if you want to message me to dig deeper, I’m always open to that) because I don’t want to be judged, or I don’t want my intentions to be misconstrued, or I don’t want to sound…I don’t even know.

I try to keep things positive for the most part, but that’s not always me, that’s not always life. Because I also want to be an open book. I feel strongly in sharing my experiences in hopes that if anyone out there is in the same boat, it helps you, on some level, to feel a little bit less isolated and alone. I know the feeling well and I want you to know you are worth fighting for.

And it may not always be rainbows and sunshine, but there are still bits of sunshine between the clouds. And you may not know me, but I know how it feels. And I want you to know that. And you are not alone. And that’s why I write.

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